You are not alone in this
Gambling problems affect not only the person who gambles, but also those closest to them. Partners and families are often exposed to stress, loss of trust, conflict, financial insecurity and emotional exhaustion. STOP Gambling Pro is also aimed at family members and partners, with the goal of providing psychoeducation and guidance to understand the problem, reduce its relational impact and promote more effective and safer support for everyone.
How gambling problems affect families
Financial strain
Debt, missing money, unpaid bills, and financial secrecy can create severe stress and instability for the entire family.
Broken trust
The lying had become so habitual that you now doubt everything. The feeling that someone has been living a double life is extremely hard to bear.
Emotional toll
Anxiety, anger, sadness, and exhaustion are common. You may feel responsible, guilty, or ashamed — even though this is not your fault.
Impact on children
Children sense tension and instability. They may experience anxiety, confusion, or behavioral changes as a result.
Warning signs to watch for
It's not always easy to tell when someone has a gambling problem. Here are some signs that may indicate a problem:
- Unexplained financial difficulties or debt
- Being secretive about time or money
- Mood swings — especially related to winning or losing
- Borrowing money frequently or selling possessions
- Neglecting responsibilities, work, or family time
- Becoming defensive or angry when asked about gambling
- Spending increasing amounts of time on phones or computers
- Withdrawing from social activities or relationships
How to approach the conversation
Talking to someone about their gambling can be difficult. Here are some guidelines:
What can help
- Choose a calm, private moment — not during or right after an argument
- Express concern without blame: 'I've noticed...' rather than 'You always...'
- Listen without interrupting or judging
- Focus on specific behaviors and their impact, not the person's character
- Offer support, not ultimatums (unless boundaries are needed for safety)
- Be prepared that they may not be ready to talk — and that's okay
What to avoid
- Shaming, blaming, or lecturing
- Trying to control their behavior or finances without agreement
- Covering up debts or consequences (enabling)
- Making threats you won't follow through on
- Expecting immediate change
- Neglecting your own well-being
Taking care of yourself
Supporting someone with a gambling problem can consume all your energy. But you cannot help effectively if you are running on empty. Your well-being matters — not as a secondary concern, but as a priority.
- Set clear boundaries about what you will and won't accept
- Seek support for yourself — therapy, support groups, or trusted friends
- Protect your finances if needed — separate accounts, independent advice
- Don't carry the secret alone
- Remember: you did not cause this and you cannot cure it
Resources for families
Many gambling support centres help not only the person affected, but also family members and partners. If you need guidance, support or accompaniment for yourself, check the Support Directory and find resources available in your area.